Staying at home is ok!

Do you ever go back and forth on whether you should stay home with your babies or work full-time? Or was it just set in stone that you would do one or the other?

 I always wanted the opportunity to stay home but we just couldn't seem to financially make it work so I taught full-time when I had my first, Owen, and loved it. I loved the person who watched him and felt that he was safe and loved on while I was at work. But it was hard dropping him off each day and on the days he was sick, my husband and I would play rock-paper-scissors to see who was going to have to take off. Then my second one came along, Graham. He started out at the same place until my husband was transferred to a different city. When this opportunity happened not only was it a change for us but it was a change that was going to allow me to be able to stay home with the boys!! I couldn't have been more happy! I was able to get on at their preschool two days a week and have the best of both worlds, teaching and being home.

However, I sometimes will find myself not happy. I will think "Ok Traci you have a masters degree and you are staying home and bringing little money in." But then I would think "Ok Traci you have it good! You have the option of staying home, which some moms do not. And not to mention you love couponing and finding good deals you've got this!" It was like, now that I'm staying home I feel guilty for being at home and not working, but when I worked I felt guilty for not being at home!! Is there anyone who feels the same way or is it just me?!

As the school year started this year and my sisters were getting their classrooms ready, I couldn't help but miss being in the classroom. I miss the full-time teaching, getting dressed up everyday, and let's be real, the money! So I freshened up my resume and had it all ready to send out. Except when it came time to do it my heart wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to put my youngest somewhere, or teach full-time. I wasn't ready to wake up everyday by 5:30 am. I love being able to take my son to school and be the first one he sees when I pick him up. I love being available at any time my kiddos need me and not feeling guilty about missing work. I love the preschool that I work for and getting to share my passion of teaching with others. I love the moms ministry that I am able to be the Children's Director for and getting the opportunity to fellowship with other moms during the week. No I am not working full-time but that's ok!!

Sometimes I still think about the what-ifs or the what-should-I do's? But a good friend told me today "Traci we must be content with what we are doing now" It's important to be in the moment! Love what you are doing whether it be working full-time, staying home full-time or a little of both! Know that where you are is where you should be and that God placed you there for a reason.

Will I ever go back full-time? Yes, I'm sure I will. And will it be ok? Yes! But for right now being at home with my little ones is ok too.

Boy Mom

"Please don't jump on the couch!" "Oh you mean like this mommy?" UGH!! Boys!! Boys are loud, smelly, and let's face it, they find humor in some of the grosses things. The other day I was sitting on the couch and my 2 year old ran up to sit down next to me. I thought, oh how sweet he wants to cuddle!!, um no...he looks at me and then proceeds to spit in my face!! SPIT!! I give him "the look" and he says "oh that's not funny?!" No, precious, that's.not.funny!! Am I alone? Please tell me that I'm not!

I can remember the day, 6 years ago, when I was on my knees in my bedroom, screaming and crying to God asking him why? Why did I not have a baby? What did I do wrong in my life to not deserve to have a little bundle of joy to love? That time in my life was very sad for me and I know that I was not the only one going through the same thing. Through the process of fertility we were able to get pregnant with our first, a boy! Then by the grace of God we had our second one 3 years later, all by ourselves!!! Again, a boy!

Now let's be honest, I had no idea what was entailed with boys. I just knew to love them, show them how God loves them, and take them to baseball practice. I thought a mom who has boys is so easy. No prom dresses, nail and hair apts, no drama. No big deal, or is it? I have been thinking a lot lately about my boys. I've been thinking, "will they come back to see me when they're married?, will they call me on the phone just to say hi?, they have their father, do they even need me?"  I've been thinking so much to the point that I heard God say "your boys need you more than you think." When I heard those words I thought, "really God? They have their dad. They have that father figure to look up to and who to look at as a role model." However, what I haven't thought about is that they need their mom more than I know. They need me, as the female figure in their life, to show them how to show respect to other girls, how to cook a meal, how to show their feelings. My boys need me to kiss their boo-boos and to hug them everyday. They need me as their encourager and supporter.

      Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

Moms of boys, don't be discourage!! Your boys do need you! You are a huge part of their life!! And know that you are not alone, boys are not easy but God chose you to raise them to be great leaders, husbands, fathers, and followers in Christ.
So, I will take hulk smashes, baseball throwing in the living room, giggles they have when making farting noises on their arms, and the comfort in knowing that I'm a mom of boys.

 

 

 

2 Weeks Down!

We made it through our first 2 weeks of life! The first week at home was a little stressful. My mom started not feeling well on Saturday and ended up going home on Sunday. I was a little anxious to get started on my own but I knew I was going to have to do it sooner than later. The week turned out to be quite adventurous.

Monday: I got mastitis and Matt had to meet the boys and me at the hospital. Getting 2 out of the house is a little harder then one. Thankfully Owen can get his shoes on by himself!
Tuesday: Graham woke up with goopy eyes and we had to go to the doctor. Come to find out he has pink eye!!!
Wednesday: I notice blood in his diaper and see that his circumcision is bleeding.
Thursday: Matt goes out of town to Dallas for the night (first night for me to ever be by myself with kids) and right before bed, Graham has blood in his diaper!! Go Figure!! I freak out thinking it's in his urine, call the on-call nurse and after lots of talking, we come to the conclusion that it's from the same spot!!!
Friday: We made it through the night without daddy!!! Everyone woke up in a good mood and we were ready for daddy to get home!!

What a week! We were sure glad to get it over with!

This week turned out to be better! Grandma came back for a few days.

Graham had his 2 week appt he weighed 8.7 pounds and was 21 inches long. He got his heel pricked and was not happy with me (daddy said he didn't cry when they did it in the hospital, but of course he did with me:))

A friend of mine, Kenna, came and picked up Owen and took him to swim with some of his buddies!

Owen and I went Father's Day shopping while grandma kept Graham.

And, my friends, Joyce, Marsha, and Tracy came to visit. Always nice to have some adults to talk to:)

I am so blessed:)